your average teenage girl?

today i went school.
first time in ages but i wish i hadent
i see my ex everyday with his new girlfriend ... i hang round with him and other people.
i still love him
and i hate it
but today i fell out with my best friend over nothing ... hes ringin me in 5 mins i hope.
maybe we can sort it out.
and theres so many secrets going round ... no-one likes my ex going out with the girl he is now ... everyone says they wish it was me and him again ... it makes me happy to hear it.
mymate is organising a party (a.k.a. a piss up) the only time i drink .. when im with people i kno will look after me. and they dont want to invite my Ex's girlfriend. so they are trying to keep it a secret.
so i sit here and munch on winegums.
im always the one to fix other peoples problems never mind my own so i sit here and try to fix my friends problems.
on the mother situation i just walked in and went on here and when i come off im going out so its okay.
i like winegums.
5 mins has gone and he still hasnt rung.
well im going to go get ready now.
and i get my mobile back on saturday from the repair shop.
things get better

the trip to london was amazing.
i had the most fun ever and it was mostly because of my mates.
we went to the theatre and watched this prefomance called 'the woman in black'. i dont get scared easy and definatley not by films but this scared me soooo much!! i felt sick with fear but it was the best thing ive ever seen!
and i saw the Queen in her carrige.
i left the house at 10 to 7 in the morning and didnt get home till 2 o'clock the next morning.
so i havent gone school today, ive gave up on school ... like most things but i dont want to ... im trying not to but its hard because i have no-one to support me ... i have no brothers or sisters and my dad left when i was 4 ... all i have is me. i dont count my mum.
but i like this blog thing.. it lets me talk to anyone that will listen and it just makes me feel better ... like someone out there actually cares. they say things are better if you talk bout them.
and i'd like to say thankyou soooo much for your comments ( ill try to reply when i figure out what im doing here) it really makes me feel soo happy and to people out there who have a mum like me never give up! im trying not to and i know its hard and i feel for you all and i wish i could help you sooo much.this might sound weird but i think that music helps.
todays just a lazy day.
mum started drinkin at 10 o'clock and hasnt (and wont) stop.
she drinks sherry ... like its water.
thats why now i dont touch alcohol. im scared ill turn out like her.
well you learnt some more bout me today and you will again tomorrow.
and i dont want to bore you too much in one day.
keep smiling.

well i got home from badminton absolutely shatterd and to put me in a bad mood i find my mum out cold on the sofa. you would think i would be used to it by now but it still hurts everytime i see her drunk ... you've figured she an alcoholic. and a really bad one at that.
but off the depressing stuff... im spose to be going on this amazing trip that i could never afford cause i live on pure benifits ... but i got help so im really looking forward to it! once in a lifetime thing then .... i get told that i cant go.
i know it might sound babyish but i cried.
harder than i had done in ages
and i cry
and i cry
but! then i get told i can go! so what do i do?
cry some more.
so im happy but sad
so i come on here ... which just normally depresses me anyway.

well hello
this is my first blog and the reason i got one is cause i watched this film 'the perfect man' and the girl on there had a blog and i wanted one.
but i dont want anyone to know who i am
cause all the people i know will get scared of me =]
lol
yeah its erm not in english ... is that spos to happen?
i dont have a clue what im doing...
yeah well today was one of my bad days .. im not gonna give everything away in one go .. it will come in time but my stupid mouse for the comp wont work!
well im your average teenage girl with a secret
and i worked out today that no matter where you go. what you do. or who you are there are lies. everywhere.
sad fact of life.
and its really hard to try and do everything on a computer without using a mouse. speshially when you dont know what your doing in the first place
i dont know how long these things are ment to be but im writing an essay anyway
ill write again soon ... tell you some more bout me and my life but now i got to go badminton!
and remember
n e v e r g i v e u p